


they say it's sweet like candy

by lefargen



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Brotherly Love, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, M/M, jeno and doyoung are brothers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-06
Updated: 2018-10-06
Packaged: 2019-07-25 22:41:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,943
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16207163
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lefargen/pseuds/lefargen
Summary: “Why do I show our love? Why do we love at all? Because love is beautiful and is meant to be shared with people. There is so much hate in the world Jeno, but love should always be celebrated.”Or: Jeno learns the who/what/where/when/why/how's of love by observing his brother Doyoung's relationship.





	they say it's sweet like candy

**Author's Note:**

> this is all inspired by 127's anniversary v-live where Johnny and Doyoung were being cute as hell and cuddling. from that moment on, i just knew that the two of them had big power couple energy.

Jeno is trying really hard not to fall asleep right now, he really is. It’s just really hard to remain interested while your brother is going on and on about budgets. If Jeno wasn’t a caring brother, he wouldn’t be here at all, but he knows how much this speech means to Doyoung, so he sucks it up and listens.

Doyoung is Student Body President. That means that Jeno goes to a lot of meetings and speeches at his University that he doesn’t actually care about. Doyoung is outspoken, opinionated, and not afraid to speak his mind. Jeno is shy, more reserved, likes to remain in the shadows sometimes. They have a lot of differences but they love and support each other regardless. Even if that means Jeno sometimes has to sit through boring speeches. 

He feels his eyelids slowly start to close again, his brother reiterating his points about the importance of conserving energy, when he is suddenly jolted awake by a body sliding in next to him. 

Ah, Jeno thinks. The boyfriend. He turns to his side and, sure enough, Johnny is getting himself situated, eyes not leaving Doyoung’s speaking figure. Johnny has been dating Doyoung since their freshman year of college, before Jeno was even around. As time passed, their relationship grew more serious and Johnny became the single most important thing in Doyoung’s life. 

Doyoung and Johnny take supportive boyfriends to the next level. Johnny sits through all of Doyoung’s speeches and Doyoung never misses one of his boyfriend’s volleyball matches. Jeno finds both events extremely boring, but he suffers through them anyway. 

“What did I miss?” Johnny asks. He takes a camera out of his bag and immediately begins snapping pictures, eyes never leaving Doyoung. Johnny is a pretty good photographer, and loves taking pictures of his muse. Jeno thinks it’s a little excessive. 

Jeno gives Johnny an unimpressed look, but he is too distracted snapping away with his camera to notice. “Johnny” Jeno whispers back “Do you really think I have any fucking idea what is going on?”

Johnny laughs back good-naturedly. “What’s your major again, kid?” he asks. Jeno sighs again. He hates this question. “I’m undecided Johnny. You know this.”

“If you aren’t interested in this then why are you here?” Johnny asks curiously. “I could ask you the same thing” Jeno shoots back immediately. Johnny just laughs. “The things we do for Kim Doyoung.”

The rest of the speech continues like this: Doyoung talking, Johnny snapping pictures, and Jeno trying his hardest to fight off sleep. When the whole thing was over, Doyoung wandered over to them, a large grin on his face. 

“Thanks for coming guys” he says ruffling Jeno’s hair and snuggling up to Johnny. “It really means a lot to me to know you guys are always here to support me.”

Johnny just smiles and leans in for a quick kiss. Jeno immediately looks away. “Of course babe. We wouldn’t miss it for the world. Are you ready to head out?” he asks.

Doyoung looks around the room, looking to see if there is anything that needs to be done before he leaves. “Why don’t you guys wait in the car; I will be there in a couple minutes. I just want to talk to Kun before I leave” he says before walking away again. 

Johnny and Jeno make their way to Johnny’s car, Jeno sliding in the backseat knowing full well the front is reserved for Doyoung. “I don’t know why you even come to these things still” Jeno begins. “You’ve been dating my brother for years, I don’t think he would care if you had to miss a speech for something” he finishes. 

Johnny scoffs at that. “You don’t understand anything about love, Jeno. If you did, you wouldn’t ask such a stupid question.” 

Jeno rolls his eyes, clearly offended. Sure, he has no dating experience and is afraid to admit his feelings to the people he likes and often even to himself, but he knows enough to know that Johnny is full of shit. 

“Tell me then, Wise Mr. Seo. _What_ is love?”

Johnny looks at Jeno with a smug look on his face. “Well, young grasshopper. Love is putting up with all the boring shit your partner likes because watching their eyes light up with passion is worth it. Love is when your partner can make anything interesting, even University budgets. Love is…”

“Ok, ok” Jeno cuts him off. “I get it. I’m a loser who doesn’t understand and you know so much about love. Sorry for doubting you, just please stop with this cheesy bullshit” he pleads. 

Before Johnny can respond, they are interrupted by Doyoung sliding into the car. “What are we talking about?” he asks lightly, hand grabbing Johnny’s as he begins to pull out of the parking lot. 

“I’m just teaching Jeno here all about love” Johnny says lightly. Doyoung laughs, and looks back at Jeno. “Good” he replies. “He needs all of the help he can get.”

Jeno didn’t know how him doing a nice thing and supporting his brother turned into him being attacked but he does not like it one bit. He decides to ignore the two and focus on the music Doyoung had begun to play from the car speakers. The couple annoyed Jeno sometimes but he had to admit, they did know a thing or two about love. 

☾

Jeno is not the most popular person in the world. He tends to be quite shy in social situations and doesn’t like to put himself out there. Despite that, however, he has managed to secure a stable group of friends, ones that he loves dearly and makes him feel like he belongs. Even if they are currently annoying the hell out of him. 

It’s chaos in his apartment. Mark and Donghyuck are arguing loudly, clearly upset about the outcome of the game of Monopoly they were playing. Jaemin is flirting with Jisung while the latter pretends to be annoyed and Chenle is screaming for no apparent reason. The only person not on his last nerve is Renjun, who is sitting back, watching it all with a disinterested look on his face. 

To make matters worse, he can see his brother and Johnny having the time of their life baking in the kitchen. Doyoung is trying to concentrate, but he can’t help but giggle as Johnny wraps his arms around him as he hugs him from behind. Gross. Jeno escapes to the kitchen anyway.

He sighs dramatically as he climbs up onto the counter swinging his legs. He dips his finger into the batter and licks it up while Doyoung lets out an annoyed yelp. “Shouldn’t you be keeping your friends busy?” he asks.

“I would but they are annoying me right now” Jeno answers. “I heard that” Donghyuck yells back, clearly offended. “Good” Jeno responds, turning his attention back to his brother. 

He watches the two as they work together seamlessly, sneaking soft smiles every time they look away from each other for longer than ten seconds. “How do you guys stand each other?” Jeno wonders out loud. 

“Excuse me?” Johnny asks. “Well, I mean. How do you guys not get sick of each other? You are together all of the time, and no offense but… you guys are both kind of annoying sometimes” Jeno responds. 

“Excuse me?” Doyoung repeats. “After all I do for you, all I am is your annoying older brother with his annoying boyfriend. I’d watch my mouth if I were you because trust me, we can get a lot more annoying than this.”

Jeno sighs, because trust _him_ , he knows just how annoying Doyoung gets. “I just mean. You guys, you spend all of your time together and you don’t get annoyed. How did you manage that? Is that part of being in love? Not being annoyed?” he asks, genuinely curious. 

Johnny laughs at the question. “Jeno, you’re Doyoung’s brother. You of all people should know how annoying he is” he jokes. Doyoung lets out an offended ‘hey’ and smacks his boyfriend’s bicep. 

The two giggle at each other while Jeno looks on, eyebrow quirked, unimpressed. “What I mean Jeno, is that Doyoung is annoying a lot of the time. But it’s so easy to overlook it when every other part of him is perfect” he says cheekily. 

Doyoung blushes beet red and quickly changes the subject. “Jeno, _who_ you love will have a major affect on you. You’ll want to be around them all the time. You won’t spend all of your time irritated. Trust me” he answers sincerely. 

Jeno nods slowly processing all of this information. “Do you know anyone who makes you feel that way Jeno?” Johnny asks with a smirk on his face. 

Before Jeno can answer, Renjun storms into the kitchen. “I cannot believe you left me alone in there with them. Come on, they are about to start playing Candyland and there’s no way I can survive that alone” he says pulling Jeno out of the kitchen by his ear. Jeno doesn’t protest, and follows the smaller boy with a tiny smile on his face. 

Johnny and Doyoung look at each other knowingly before going back to baking.

☾

Jeno is swamped by the time midterms come around. He spends all of his time holed up in the library writing essays and drinking more coffee than is probably healthy. By the time Jeno finished his last exam, he is ready to crawl into bed and not come out for another three days.

Jeno’s relaxation plans end, however, the second he steps foot into his apartment. 

Because Jeno is met with a very, very sick Doyoung. A Doyoung who continues typing away on his computer, despite looking noticeably ill. His brother is surrounded by tissues, eyes watery and shoulders slumped. 

“Hyung” Jeno says worriedly. Doyoung looks up meeting his eyes. “Jeno” he replies “how did your exams go?” 

Jeno sighs. The house could be on fire and Doyoung would carry on, business as usual. His brother really hates to bother people with his problems, preferring to offer the façade that everything is fine. 

“I survived. I don’t think I can say the same thing about you though” Jeno replies. Doyoung scoffs at that, clearly not liking what the younger is implying. 

“Jeno, I’m fine. I just have to do some more work for the Student Union’s rally next week. When I’m done I promise I will rest” Doyoung offers, knowing Jeno will be difficult about the matter. 

And he is right. Jeno offers him a disapproving stare before answering. “Hyung, you’ve been working on this rally for weeks. The finishing details can wait until after you’re feeling better. Or you could, you know, hand off the duties to someone else. You know you aren’t the only one capable of pulling this off, right?”

“Jeno, please don’t start with me. Just trust me. I can take care of this myself” Doyoung replies, clearly not giving up without a fight. 

The younger takes a second to weigh his options. He could continue to annoy Doyoung and have him ignore his wishes and keep working or he could leave him alone and have him ignore his wishes and keep working. 

Jeno promptly decides that if he can’t change his brother’s mind, the least he can do is offer him some help. “Fine” he scoffs, “You keep working, but I’m going to make you some soup because you are clearly not well, hyung” he says as he heads towards the kitchen. 

Doyoung furrows his eyebrow at that. “Jeno, you’ve barely been sleeping these days. Take a rest, please. I’m fine” he says, standing up and walking towards him. 

He is clearly not fine, however, because he proceeds to stop in his tracks and pass out onto the carpet of their living room. 

At this incident, Jeno proceeds to promptly freak out. Because sure, this has happened before, pretty much every time Doyoung has ever been really sick, but it still freaks him out nonetheless. 

After a brief moment of doom, Jeno pulls himself into action and does two things. He takes his brother’s limp body and drags him back to couch, lying him down. Then he makes a panicked phone call to Johnny. 

Jeno waits for ten minutes, pacing the living room and staring intently at his brother’s unconscious body. When Johnny enters the apartment, he makes a beeline straight to his boyfriend, ignoring Jeno’s presence as he checks over his boyfriend. 

After about a minute, he finally turns to Jeno. “Go grab me a glass of water and a wet washcloth please” he demands, immediately turning his attention back to his boyfriend and gently patting his cheek. 

Jeno leaves quickly, getting the stuff Johnny asked for. When he comes back, his brother is awake and speaking softly with his boyfriend. Upon his arrival, Johnny takes the washcloth and water from him before ignoring him again. 

Johnny makes Doyoung drink the entire glass, telling him that this is the first of several glasses Johnny is going to make him drink. They both know Doyoung neglects eating and drinking when he is sick and gets dehydrated quite easily. He then proceeds to make Doyoung lay down, putting the washcloth on his forehead. 

“Here’s what is going to happen” Johnny begins. “You are going to lie there and rest. That laptop is staying closed for the rest of the night, understand? And I’m going to go to the kitchen and make you some soup, while Jeno gets you some medicine, okay?” he finishes. 

Doyoung nods, eyes getting teary. “Thank you for coming. I’m sorry for putting this burden on you” he says weakly. 

“Hey now, none of that. I love you and you are not well. Of course I’m going to come take care of you. Now rest” Johnny answers sincerely. 

Jeno leaves quickly and goes to their medicine cabinet, getting Doyoung some medicine before returning to the living room. His brother is already fast asleep, clearly worn out from stress, fatigue and illness. He can hear Johnny working in the kitchen, quickly throwing together something for Doyoung. 

Johnny is not the best cook, but he is not hopeless either. Jeno knows that despite Doyoung being the one who prepares most of the meals in their relationship, Johnny would never pass up on the opportunity to take care of Doyoung. An opportunity that rarely comes, as Doyoung often insists he can take care of himself. 

Jeno spends some time resting in the living room, sitting in a chair and scrolling on his phone. Occasionally he looks up to check on his brother as he rests like he so desperately needs to. 

Eventually, Johnny re-enters the room carrying two bowls of soup. He gives one to Jeno with a small smile on his face. “You’ve been working hard these days Jeno. Take care of yourself so you don’t end up like your idiot brother” he says. 

His words against his brother hold no real weight, however, as he then moves towards Doyoung with the softest smile and spoon-feeds him soup after waking him up gently. Once Doyoung finishes the bowl and takes the medicine that Jeno brought out, Johnny takes his hand and leads him to his bedroom. 

Jeno lets himself fall onto the couch, turning on the TV and relaxing for the first time in weeks. He is grateful for Johnny and his willingness to take care of his brother. Jeno knows he wouldn’t have been able to do nearly as good of a job.

Later in the evening, Johnny walks back into the living room, sinking into the armchair with a deep sigh. “He’s asleep” he declares. “He is overworked, exhausted, and very clearly sick but at least he is resting now.”

“Thank you for coming, hyung. I know you have your finance exam tomorrow. I almost didn’t think you would come when I called you” Jeno admits. 

Johnny scoffs at that. “Of course I came Jeno. I love your brother. I plan to marry him. And part of that vow is in sickness and in health.” 

Jeno is shocked at the revelation. He had always assumed that Johnny and Doyoung would end up married but this is the first time either has mentioned their own intent out loud. 

“Still” Jeno replies. “Doyoung got sick at a pretty inconvenient time. I admire you for taking the time out of your night to take care of him.”

Johnny chuckles. “Jeno, I don’t just love your brother _when_ it is convenient or when he is healthy. I love him all of the time, even when it conflicts with whatever else is going on in my life. That’s what love is about isn’t it? Loving someone when circumstances are conflicting anyway?”

Jeno takes a second to think about everything Johnny has just said. “My brother is really lucky to have you, Johnny” he says softly. 

“Me too, kid. Really lucky. Now go to bed. You look exhausted and I need to get some studying done without you distracting me,” he says pulling out his textbooks from his backpack. 

Jeno nods and heads to his room, letting himself fall into bed. He falls asleep knowing that his brother is taken care of.

☾

When Jeno finds the envelope he is a little confused. Why did Doyoung have a letter from Columbia Law School? Wasn’t he planning on going to Harvard Law? That has been his dream his entire life. The one thing he had been working for since he decided he wanted to be a human rights lawyer at the age of 6. Doyoung had always known he wanted to help people, and he wanted to do so with a law degree from one of the best universities in the world. 

He brings the letter up at dinner that night. They are digging into their meal, making small talk here and there, but mostly enjoying the peaceful silence after a long day of working hard. They both enjoy solitude once in awhile. 

“Hyung” Jeno begins, voice curious but hesitant. “Why do you have mail from Columbia?” 

Doyoung looked up suddenly, surprised at the question raised by his brother. “Because that’s where I have decided to go to law school” he answers truthfully. 

Jeno suddenly feels guilty for asking. Did Doyoung not get into Harvard? Is that why he is going to Columbia? That’s not possible, right? That Doyoung, who has been working towards this his entire life, doing everything to make it happen, got rejected in the end anyway?

Doyoung picks up on Jeno’s sour mood. “I got accepted into Harvard, Jeno. But I decided to go to Columbia instead. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you that my plans had changed, but I’ve been stressing about it a lot. I didn’t have time to sit down and update everyone” he says gently. 

This revelation makes Jeno even more confused. Because why would Doyoung suddenly abandon his dream? Something he had been planning since Jeno could even remember. And then it dawns on him: Johnny. 

Johnny had signed a job offer with an impressive ad agency in New York City. He was planning on moving there right after graduation. Upon connecting the dots, Jeno is furious. 

“Really, hyung? You’re about to change your entire life plan for a boy? Settle for something you don’t even want so you can play happy family in New York with Johnny? You are turning into every horrible cliché where people ruin their lives just to be with someone” Jeno vents, fuming with disappointment towards his brother. 

“Jeno, please don’t be like this” Doyoung sighs, fingers pinching the bridge of his nose. “Please just be happy for me for making this life-changing decision.”

Happy for him? Doyoung expects him to be happy for him? For throwing his life away for a boy? Albeit, a very nice, handsome, charming boy, but still. Jeno needs to stand his ground on this one. 

“Hyung. You always tell me not to give up on my dreams. But here you are. Giving up. What message are you sending to me, your younger brother? To just give up when the thought of following through gets too hard” Jeno protests. 

Doyoung looks visibly angry at Jeno’s outburst, but when he speaks his voice is level and calm. “Sometimes dreams change Jeno. It’s as simple as that. I am not making this decision because of Johnny, but I’m not going to lie, he was a part of my decision. But he was just one part of it, along with everything else” he explains. 

Jeno doesn’t look convinced so Doyoung continues talking. “I had to re-evaluate things and decide where was going to make me most happy. Being surrounded by diverse people in a city that is practically a microcosm of the entire world excites me so much. Plus, I love big cities, I enjoyed the campus way better there than I did when I visited Harvard. And, well. I don’t want to have to completely uproot my life and start 100% over again. Be lonely again. I want to go _where_ love is. Is that so wrong, Jeno?” he finishes seriously. 

At this point Jeno has already conceded that he is, in fact, being a judgmental asshole and that he should just be happy for his brother. His brother who just accomplished a huge milestone in his life and is choosing a future for himself that will not only guarantee him immense success, but also comfort and love along the way. 

So Jeno swallows his pride and apologizes, pulling his brother into a hug. “I’m very proud of you, hyung. I know you’ll be successful wherever you go. Also I’m going to visit you, like, all the time” he mumbles into his shoulder. 

Doyoung laughs, pushing his brother away. “Come on” he says. “Let’s go out to eat. I’ll buy you lunch and we can talk all about how I’m going to survive living in a tiny studio apartment with Johnny.”

Despite his comments, Jeno can see how happy this is making him, the idea of moving to New York with his boyfriend. It’s the smile on his brother’s face that makes him realize that Doyoung is probably making the right decision after all.

☾

Jeno knows there is something wrong the moment he walks into the apartment. He feels the tension rise from his stomach to his throat as he walks through the entryway and into the living room. 

Jeno finds his brother and Johnny sitting on the couch, locked in an embrace. As he takes in the scene in front of him he notices two important details.

The first is that Doyoung is crying. And not just a few stray tears escaping his eyes, but full-on sobbing. The type of crying that rakes through his entire body, leaving him shaking and heaving as Johnny rubs his back in an attempt to calm him down. 

The second thing he notices is Johnny’s bruised knuckles and busted bottom lip. Jeno doesn’t know exactly what happened, but his mind is rapidly running through a million and one scenarios and none of them are good.

He tries to think about how to approach the situation when he feels a hand grab his arm and pull him into the kitchen before he can react. Under the yellow kitchen light, he is greeted by a distressed Ten who looks just as out of place as Jeno feels. 

“Doyoung was jumped. They only got a couple of punches in before Johnny showed up and stepped in. He got the brunt of it, but the guys who did it ran away when people came and saw what was happening” Ten supplied. 

Jeno tries to think of the words to say to express how he is feeling but he can’t. His brother has always been there to protect him, and to hear about something like this happening to him makes him feel incredibly helpless.

Ten seems to sense Jeno’s unease and continues talking. “The entire time the guys were sprouting homophobic bullshit. Said they didn’t want a ‘faggot’ representing the school. Didn’t think it was right that the student body president thought it was okay to walk around campus holding hands with another man.”

Jeno feels his heart break into a million pieces. Because he has always been kind of naïve, partly due to Doyoung’s protective nature shielding him from how bad things were some times. 

Yeah, Jeno understood that homophobia exists, but to see it displayed in such a violent, hateful, and blatant form was scary. He had grown up seeing his brother stand up for love his whole life, and, for the most part, assumed people had become accepting of it. 

This new revelation is terrifying to Jeno. Does this mean the world is still unsafe for a love like his brother’s? For people like… himself? Is this really something that he needs to be worrying about in this day and age? 

Jeno looks up at Ten and stares at him for a minute. Ten, sensing his emotion, pulls him into a tight hug. 

Jeno takes a shaky breath before speaking into Ten’s shoulder. “What do we do Ten? It’s not like we can just change the entire fucking world. It’s not like we can say anything that can make the pain go ahead. I just, I feel helpless. Tell me how to help Ten, tell me what I need to” he says frantically.

Ten pulls away, holding Jeno at arms length. Ten looks at him with the saddest smile on his face and begins calming speaking. 

“I don’t know if we can ever change those asshole’s opinions, I really don’t. But we have to fight on anyway. We have to stand by Johnny and Doyoung and show them that we support them. At the end of the day, that’s all we really can do. Offer them our support” Ten mutters softly. 

Jeno nods, replaying the words over and over again in his head until they stick in his mind. As he turns back to face the living room. He sees that things have calmed down considerably. Both Johnny and Doyoung still seem shaken up, but no one is crying anymore. 

Jeno steps back into the room hesitantly, unsure of how to approach the situation. Ten follows suit, quickly offering to help Johnny dress his wounds as he drags him to the bathroom. 

Doyoung takes the opportunity to pull Jeno down onto the couch and into a long hug. Jeno tries not to let his eyes water, tries really hard to be strong for his brother, but ultimately succumbs to the tears. 

As he pulls back, Doyoung wipes his brother’s tears and looks at him sadly. “So I’m guessing Ten filled you in on what happened, huh?” he questions.

Nodding slightly, Jeno opens his mouth before closing it again quickly. He can’t really find the words he wants to say in the moment. He ultimately decides on a simple “Why?” 

“Why what?” Doyoung asks, confusion evident on his face. Jeno takes a deep breath before beginning again. 

“Why do you continue to put your relationship with Johnny out there when you know there will be backlash? Aren’t you scared? That next time Johnny won’t get there? That they might not stop even if he does?” Jeno wonders aloud. 

Doyoung sighs loudly, clearly unsure of how to respond. Once he has gathered his thoughts Doyoung responds, “ _Why_ do I show our love? Why do we love at all? Because love is beautiful and is meant to be shared with people. There is so much hate in the world Jeno, but love should always be celebrated.”

“Even if its dangerous? Don’t get me wrong, hyung. I think your relationship is beautiful and should be celebrated too. But I’m worried about you. I, I want you to be safe” Jeno 

Doyoung takes a second to think over his words, looking at the wall, eyes calculating. “Well Jeno, it’s not like I don’t understand the risk. It’s just, I think about the possibility of some closeted kid looking at me and Johnny and understanding that it’s okay to be like us. That our love is just the same as everyone else’s love, and it’s okay to be like us.”

Jeno nods slowly, understanding the position his brother is taking. Doyoung has always been a martyr, willing to risk it all for the greater good.

“Don’t worry too much about me Jeno” Doyoung says firmly. “The risk that every homophobic person on campus sees me and threatens me when I’m with Johnny is worth it if just one closeted kid also sees us and feels hope.”

Upon hearing this Jeno immediately tears up. Because he needs Doyoung to know just how much his bravery is helping people; is helping him. 

On a worn-out couch in their tiny two-bedroom apartment, Jeno takes the first step in becoming brave like his brother. He grabs Doyoung’s hand and squeezes it tightly, holding on as he admits something he never thought he would.

“You are helping people, hyung. I don’t know if your actions are helping every closeted kid out there, but you’ve definitely helped one. Watching you be so open and free with yourself and your love for Johnny has helped me, h-helped me accept myself too” Jeno finishes, crying for real at this point. 

“Oh Jeno” Doyoung says, immediately pulling him into a hug. “I’m so proud of you. And I love you so much. Thank you so much for telling me.”

Jeno cries into his brother’s shoulder, gripping him tightly. “I-I never thought I would do this. I’m not brave like you are, hyung.”

Doyoung pulls back and tilts Jeno’s face towards his. “Hey, now. Don’t say that. You are one of the bravest people I know and you inspire me every single day.”

Jeno smiles slightly, feeling so lucky to have such an amazing brother. Their moment is broken up by Johnny and Ten re-entering the living room, looking much better both physically and mentally. 

“I think I’m going to head out. Got a long day tomorrow. Let me know if you need anything though, you know I’ll be here in five seconds if you ask” Ten announces to the room. 

Johnny claps Ten on the back, before Doyoung gets up and pulls his friend into a tight hug. Ten waves over at Jeno, thankfully not commenting on his obviously distressed state, and leaves the apartment quietly.

Johnny, able to read the situation easily, definitively decides “It’s been a really horrible day and I am emotionally drained. So, I propose we order pizza and binge watch Harry Potter.”

Jeno agrees, settling back into the couch and letting himself relax for the first time since he stepped into the apartment that evening. Today was life-changing for all of them, and, despite everything, Jeno lets himself feel hopeful for the future.

☾

“Hyung” Jeno asks cautiously. “Can I talk to you about something?” Doyoung looks up from where he is sitting at the kitchen table doing a crossword puzzle. Doyoung nods, taking off his reading glasses and turning his full attention to his brother. 

Jeno hesitates slightly before taking a seat next to his brother. He opens his mouth only to quickly shut it again. Nervous energy is radiating from his body as he shuts his eyes and shakes his head. He doesn’t know why he is so stressed talking about this to his brother but he is. 

“I-I’ve been thinking a lot lately. And I think I’m finally comfortable enough in my sexuality, and watching you with Johnny just makes me wonder. And, and I think I’m finally ready” he stutters. 

Doyoung sends his brother a confused look. “I’m afraid I’m not following, Jeno. Ready for what?” 

Jeno looks even more nervous than before, realizing that he is going to have to voice it out in its entirely. Admit it for the first time. “Hyung… how do you confess to someone?” 

A small smile appears on Doyoung’s face as he finally realizes what Jeno is talking about. “Oh” he begins. “You’re thinking of finally confessing to Renjun.”

Jeno’s jaw drops as he stares at his brother with wide eyes. “How did you know?” he asks expectantly. “Was I that obvious?”

“Well…” Doyoung begins. “Yeah. To be honest you really are. Ten and I always joke that Renjun loves art and will look at a painting like it’s the most beautiful thing in the world. And you look at Renjun like he looks at art. Like he is the art to you. It’s kind of ironic, when you think about it.”

Jeno groans, holding his head in his hands. “I can’t believe I was that obvious. Is that why none of my friends were shocked when I came out? They all knew I liked Renjun.”

“I mean, probably” Doyoung answers honestly. “But there’s nothing wrong with that. Especially now that you’re going to do something about it. Why are you so nervous? You know he likes you back, right?”

“I don’t know that. But I do know that even if he doesn’t he won’t look down on me if I confess. He’s too good of a person for that. And that certainty makes the potential heartbreak worth it. But to be honest, I’m going to be nervous either way. If he says yes or no.”

Doyoung looks at his brother with a puzzled expression on his face. “Jeno, why would you be nervous if he said yes? Isn’t that what you want.”

Jeno rolls his eyes at his brother. “Because I’ve learned a lot about love. Especially from watching you with Johnny. But I still don’t know _how_ to love someone. And Renjun deserves someone who is going to treat him really, really well. Like he deserves. And I really don’t wanna fuck that up. I want to give him the love he deserves but I’m scared I will mess it all up because I don’t know how to be a good boyfriend” he finishes.

Doyoung sighs, a small smile on his face. “Jeno, knowing how to love somebody and be a good boyfriend is kind of learned behavior. You don’t know how to be with someone romantically until you get a significant other and can experience what it's like. But I think you’ll be fine, do you know why?” he asks.

“Why?” Jeno replies, slight pout on his face. 

“Because you have the biggest heart of anyone I know. And you look at the world with such kindness and empathy. You might be awkward and confused sometimes but there is no doubt in my mind that you would never treat Renjun poorly. So go. Ask him out already. Because I really don’t know what you’re waiting for at this point” Doyoung finishes. 

Jeno stands up with a determined look on his face. “You know what” he begins. “I’m going to do it. Right now. Before I chicken out” he finishes before heading towards the door and slipping his shoes on. 

“Let me know how it goes, ok? I love you no matter what happens, but I’m sure everything will all work out. Good luck!” Doyoung finishes as Jeno leaves the apartment quickly.

☾

Doyoung is on the couch cuddling with Johnny when his phone lights up with a notification from Jeno. It’s a selfie of him kissing Renjun’s cheek with a quick caption: _he's mine_

Doyoung knows Jeno is worried he doesn’t know enough about love, but he thinks the two of them are going to be just fine.

**Author's Note:**

> tbh im new at this whole writing thing, and im not that happy with how this fic turned out. but i have been working on it for MONTHS and just wanted to move on and write something else. so i hope whoever read this enjoys it and im always up for some comments and constructive criticism uwu


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